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Celebrating the Universe's 2x4 to my Head


September 22 is always a day of deep reflection for me. As many of you know, it’s the day I had a cerebral aneurysm rupture.

I am still, after all these years, grateful and amazed at how the stars aligned to get me to a space that would lead me on the path to my emotional and spiritual healing.

As a stubborn woman, I often ignore the quiet signals of what my soul is calling out for. And as the signs are ignored they often become stronger and much more bold...as in my case, getting hit upside the head with a proverbial 2 x 4...Spirit saying wake-the-f@*k-up!

Because I ended up at a meeting I wasn’t going to go to, I was in a public place when the aneurysm ruptured instead of at home where I would have bled out and died.

Somehow my colleagues at this meeting were able to get me in the ambulance, which I refused to get on because I didn’t have health insurance...and if I hadn’t, I would not be here today.

Because my parents, which I had a bit of a strained relationship with, ignored the pain of the past and took amazing care of me during my rehab time after being released from the hospital, it gave me the space to open my heart and release my expectation of how I thought parent-offspring relationships should look and love them unconditionally, without attachment.

And because of the amazing love and support I received from my family, extended family, and friends from all over the world, it helped me see that the crazy beliefs I had that I was completely unlovable were not true.

All of this opened my eyes to realizing it was TIME to start on the emotional and spiritual healing path, especially as I was on the physical (post aneurysm) healing path.

I’ve been on this path for 12 years now. Some days that fearful part of the ego-mind thinks I haven’t healed anything at all and that I’m still stupid, that I can’t do anything right, and that I’m completely unlovable.

When I catch myself in this pattern, I know it’s time to open the “toolbox” to access the modalities I’ve learned, used, and grown from these past 12 years to stop the unhealthy pattern in its path.

As I continue on the body, mind and spirit healing path, I get to constantly look at what I’m ready to heal into, grow into and let go of.

And along my healing journey I’ve found many modalities that work on the body, mind and spirit. My favorites being Qigong, breathwork, meditation, gratitude, and journaling.

I know deep in my soul, one of the reasons I’m still on the planet is to share this with people that are aligned with being ready to start on their deeper healing path. To be vibrantly healthy, the body, mind and spirit all need to be in balance.

Today the tab on my teabag said “The purpose of life is to know yourself, love yourself, trust yourself, and be yourself”. This sums up the path I’m on and that I love to support my clients on.

from www.carlamarietoth.com Sept 22, 2021


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